Two week ago, I was already counting the days until I returned home. One of my brothers here on the hill named Art reminded me not to count the days, but make them count. I was so stuck on going home along with other feelings of emptiness that I began to get lazy in the classroom; my prayer life was suffering, sadly, I was sick and I didn’t go to prayer, Mass, or class; everything was just going down the drain for a good week or so.
There’s a Greek word Metanoia and when I first learned the meaning, it captivated me. From my understanding, it means to see with new eyes or to change ones mind. I don’t know Greek but as far as I know that’s pretty accurate. The idea is to look at things differently in order to understand. Maybe I really needed this time to see everything with new eyes. After all, if this is God’s will, then I will somehow find the way.
As far as I know and according to how I feel, I still am looking towards taking that 2 year Leave of Absence and finishing up my BA outside the seminary. But as Jesus was in the desert for 40 days, I feel that I am going through my desert and how else can I get out of it then by trusting in the Lord and committing myself to him entirely asking him to guide me. On that note, starting April 10th, I will be disconnecting from the outside world until Easter Sunday (April 24th) in order to really focus on prayer, Mass, class and community life here on the hilltop. I have faith in Jesus and if nothing changes, then I will know my place is within the married life, hopefully as a Religious Ed/Philosophy teacher. By allowing myself to be guided by the Holy Spirit, I might also see things with new eyes and if I do, I hope I have the strength to fallow His light. Thank you all and God bless! Much love always!
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