On this day of recollection, we are blessed to have a retired Bishop from the Yakima Diocese (Washington) give us a retreat and so far it has been on the love of the Father and trusting him. Or at least its what i've walked away with so far. It has been very helpful because first of all, sometimes it feels like my decision to come to the Seminary has been the biggest blessing and curse i've every had. haha The constant tug and pull of "finding" the will of God is tough. Or i should say that I make it tough because i still have trouble trusting Him. Bishop Sevilla gave us a few examples that really made me think about things a bit differently. His first example was of when he was a child and he was crossing a cable bridge. The water was so high that it would touch their feet at times and he said he was scared but then he realized that his father was holding his hand really tight and he was reassured. Like that, we too should always remember that our Father is holding our hand. The next example was that of a father teaching his son/daughter how to ride a bike. The father reassures his little one that he wont let go and they'll be okay. But when the child finally looks back because they realize they're going faster then their father could run, they realize that they've got it and they're riding the bike. And lastly, he gave an example of a new born baby. This one really hit home because my brother and his wife just had their first child and i got to hold her while i was in California. Anyway, he said that for the first few months the new born is always in someone's arms and that its good because the baby learns love and feels safe. But when the child is placed in a crib he/she will usually cry and whine because their alone and are vulnerable. Just as it seems that they are alone, the parents are teaching their child a new experience and although it may seem as the child is not loved because no one is around, It teaches the child that he/she is still loved even when the parents are in the next room. so too are we loved and so too is God teaching us to walk/ride a bike and He is teaching us to fallow him.
I hope I can just forget about the other things that hold me back. Like the lack of freedom in the sense of not being able to do everything i want, whenever i want. To know that it is all with a purpose and after all, i am happy here. I am grateful for my vocation and i need stop trying to run away and just trust in God that everything will be okay.
God bless all of you! much love to all!