In the Beginning

8/24/2010

                Today is the start of my new seminarian journal and I have decided to only write a few days at a time it will give me enough time to reflect on the things that have impacted my life the most and it also gives me time to do what I need to do academically, spiritually and communally. I now know what it feels like to leave the house and to be dropped off by loving parents who have given their entire soul for the betterment of my own.  So far these first three days have been a great experience. God is definitely working within us because this year, there is a total of 55 seminarians entering and it has been a pleasure trying to get the names down. Next week there will be another 140 or so returning seminarians. This week’s schedule is like a week long retreat.  We have time for our meals, sessions, free time, group time, and prayer time. To be honest, the first day I arrived (Saturday for a quick walk around), I didn’t really feel any type of excitement. I thought it was going to be boring up here and that I’d fall away from my faith or that this was not my true vocation but as Sunday came and other people started showing up, I started to feel differently about Mount Angel. Then after the first few sessions and Adoration -which if you do not know, that is when we are face to face with Jesus Christ through the Eucharist- everything started to fall back into place and I found peace within along with a sort of feeling that I’ve never felt before. I felt like I accepted this a bit more. Its our human nature to doubt and to overlook things and as my vocation continues to reveal itself, the more I grow within it. But that does not mean that I no longer doubt. It was a great feeling because for the first time, I felt like I was officially in it for the long haul. This is who I am and what I will be doing for the rest of my life. And I was not only fine with the idea but I also am eager to start not because I want to hurry up and finish, but because I want to learn.